can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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