If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
