Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
