What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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