bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
