So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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