Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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