and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
