Is it because I queefed?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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