so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
