no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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