I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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