I wanna passion pit in your ass
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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