that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
How's work?
Spinning.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
