you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
birth control should be required to get into college
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize