she woke up with a sticky ear
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize