I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize