This girl is more easily done than said...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
