It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We just shotgunned beers for America
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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