On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
