she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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