theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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