I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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