i may or may not be watching the land before time
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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