my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize