would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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