Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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