In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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