i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
