I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
