So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
