I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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