So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
