Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
