dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
