It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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