Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
