I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize