think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
