I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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