Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
