so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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