mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
