If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
