Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So squirting runs in the family.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
