i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
