you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
