and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize