I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
