Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
