if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
