I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
