If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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