Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
