i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
