yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
