stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize