i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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