she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
