It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I cut my penus on the lid.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
